So far, the press conferences for this year’s Detroit auto show have been, well, electric. Both GM and Ford talked about how the future was all about electric cars. But with all this talk about electricity, I’m frustrated as all get-out that I can’t find a place to plug in my laptop.

But of all the press conferences put on by Detroit’s Three, I raised my eyebrows most during Chrysler’s.

Starting out, Jim Press, Chrysler’s Vice Chairman and President, talked about the current state of automotive sales by saying that “fuel prices spike--consumer confidence fell--and credit markets freeze [produced] a hat trick for an automotive nightmare.” As, a result, “U.S. auto sales fell to the lowest levels in 26 years.” He also said that “without a doubt, the biggest cause of [Chrysler’s] sales difficulties has been restricted credit.” Never mind that perhaps the reason Chrysler’s sales are down is that the company doesn’t produce competitive products.

Press went on to explain how the company was preparing to be competitive in the future: "We’ve eliminated 32,000 positions." But I find this a tough pill to swallow when the country’s overall (never mind the metro-Detroit area’s) unemployment rate is the worst in over 20 years. Perhaps the reason to mention how lean Chrysler’s become is to make it more attractive to a buyer? Hmmm.

Another puzzling claim from Press: According to the company’s "internal warranty data", "our quality has never been better." Not according to Consumer Reports Annual Survey, which ranks Chrysler near the bottom of all manufacturers. In fact, the Sebring Convertible has the worst score in our survey: 283 percent worse than average.

Another somewhat misleading statement coming from Press: "88% of our ’09 vehicles are rated 5 star [in the government’s crash tests]." Consumer Reports doesn’t think the government’s crash tests are too tough to master, as the vast majority of new cars earn four or five NHTSA stars in those measures. Such a limited performance spectrum limits the usefulness of the ratings themselves. The IIHS's more-demanding crash tests can better help to narrow down your car choices. Other things being equal, choose a vehicle that the IIHS rates Good or Acceptable in each of its tests.

But on to Chrysler’s electric boogaloo.

 Chrysler unveiled its Dodge Circuit EV prototype all-electric sports car. Aside from the sporty numbers you’d expect from a sleek-looking coupe (0-60 mph in less than 5 seconds, driving range of 150 to 200 miles), the company said that the time to recharge the batteries "can be cut in half by using a typical 220-volt power outlet." What the company didn’t say, however, is how long it takes to charge normally with 110 volts. In other words, half of what?

We then saw the 200C EV concept, a nice looking four-door sedan. The 200 C’s interior is designed to "maximize interior comfort." Why wouldn’t every car designer/engineer want to do this? Does this statement qualify for the obvious award? Or is it the goal for new cars to have interiors that feel like torture chambers? The statement simply didn’t make sense.

The 200C EV concept is also "built on a proven platform that delivers outstanding ride and handling." Of all the current Chrysler models we’ve tested, none are known for having an outstanding ride or handling. Which "proven platform" are they talking about?

Best case scenario after this train wreck of a press conference? Chrysler needs better speech writers. Worst case? Chrysler’s in a lot of trouble and they’re using tons of smoke and mirrors to stay alive.

--Mike Quincy

See Consumer Reports' coverage of the 2009 Detroit auto show.