How many people know someone who has “inspirational” posters plastered to their office walls? I found some on Amazon.com that had pictures of people climbing mountains with the line, “Aspire to climb as high as you can dream” and a shot of a couple walking on the shoreline near crashing waves accompanied by the saying, “The strongest force in the world is genuine and everlasting commitment.” I just want to well up. Or throw up.
Chrysler, in an apparent attempt to shed its fuddy-duddy image (after all, they boast about being the originator and ruler of the minivan world), for a buddy-buddy one, tried desperately to show the world they were hip during an overly scripted press conference. Among the cavernous display space Chrysler leased for the show (honestly, it seemed like it was big enough to hold the next Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert rally) were mural-sized expressions, such as “We gave our minivan everything so you can do anything.” To that I might add “Anything so long as you don’t have to have a conversation in the van while driving.” (The Town & Country has poor scores for squeaks and rattles in our reliability data plus the engines were a bit noisy.)
Other inspirational selections:
“Car chases make movies better.”
But if the bad guys are driving, say, a Dodge Nitro on a windy road, the chase scene might not last very long…We found the Nitro’s handling ponderous and clumsy.
“Sitting in one of our $26,000 cars should feel like sitting in one of their $62,000 cars.”
Sitting in the last Chrysler Sebring we tested was akin to sitting in a hockey penalty box--the Sebring’s seats were rock hard and the backrest's contouring made your lower back feel like you were sitting against a bowling ball.
And my favorite: “Cars can be fuel efficient without being neutered.”
Since we don’t have any tests measuring the latter, we’ll just leave it at that.
Press conferences are often equal parts product briefings and company cheerleading, but at times they can be like playing dial a cliché.
What your favorite, smarmy automotive saying? Post in the comments below.